by Boris Starling
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The Haynes Manual is one of publishings most famous and enduring icons. More than 200 million copies have been sold, covering everything from Austin Allegros to Zombie Survival.
Now Haynes is sending itself up in a fabulously amusing and brilliantly-observed new format. Haynes Explains are compact guides to four major stages of life: babies, teenagers, marriage and pensioners. Based on the classic stripdown and rebuild outline, and using original Haynes lines drawings, these books are perfect gifts or stocking fillers. When you have babies, your friends come round and coo at them.
When you have teenagers, your friends send you sad-face texts saying thoughts and prayers are with you.
The aim of Haynes Explains Teenagers is to help you get the best value from your adolescent. It can help you (a) decide what work must be done (b) tackle this work yourself, though you may choose to have much of it performed by an off-site garage such as a boarding school and/or Young Offenders Institution. Sections include: Reliability (trouble starting in morning). Service History (school reports). What the report says: Surprisingly good exam result. What the report means: Cheated. In-Car Audio (ghastly teenage music). The CPU (technology obsession). The most effective punishment for any teenager is to take them on holiday to a remote rural cottage where there is no mobile reception or broadband. Bodykits (clothes and image). The Horn (sex). The best way to ensure that your daughter s boyfriends are properly vetted is to become President of the United States.
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